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|A||Ann Anteater ate Andy Alligator’s apples so,|
Angry Andy Alligator ate Ann Anteater’s ants.
|B||Betty Botter bought a bit of butter.|
“But,” said she, “this butter’s bitter.
If I put it in my batter,
It will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter
That would make my batter better.”
So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter
Better than her bitter butter
And she put it in her bitter batter
And made her bitter batter a bit better.
|C||Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?|
|Ch||Chester chooses chestnuts, |
cheddar cheese with chewy chives.
He chews them and he chooses them.
He chooses them and he chews them.
Those chestnuts, cheddar cheese
and chives in cheery, charming chunks.
|D||The Doge did what a Doge does,|
When a Doge does his duty to a Duke, that is.
When the Doge did his duty and the Duke didn’t,
that’s when the Duchess did the dirt to the Duke with the Doge.
There they were in the dark:
The Duke with his dagger, the Doge with his dart and the Duchess with her dirk.
The Duchess dug at the Duke just when the Duke dove at the Doge.
Now the Duke ducked, the Doge dodged and the Duchess didn’t.
So the Duke got the Duchess, the Duchess got the Doge and the Doge got the Duke.
|E||Eager eagles eat eeking evil eels evenly even Easter evening.|
|Eh||Never ever egg ethical Ed with every effort and edible employable egg.|
|F||Five fifers free,|
Fifing in the fog,
Phyllis, Fran And Phil and Dan
And Philip’s funny frog.
|G||Green glass globes glow greenly.|
|H||Harry Hunt hunts heavy hairy hares.|
Does Harry Hunt hunt heavy hairy hares?
If Harry Hunt hunts heavy hairy hares,
Where are the heavy hairy hares Harry Hunt hunts?
|I||Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager|
Imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?
|J||A gentle judge judges justly.|
|K||Kiss her quick!|
Kiss her quicker!
Kiss her quickest!
|L||Red lolly, yellow lolly.|
|M||Mummies make money.|
|N||Nice nurses nursing nicely.|
|O||An oyster met an oyster,|
And they were oysters two;
Two oysters met two oysters,
And they were oysters too;
Four oysters met a pint of milk,
And they were oyster stew.
|P||Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.|
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
|Q||Quick queens quack quick quacks quicker than quacking quails.|
|R||A right-handed fellow named Wright,|
In writing “write” always wrote “rite”
Where he meant to write right.
If he’d written “write” right,
Wright would not have wrought rot writing “rite”.
|Sc||I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!|
|Sh||She sells sea shells on the sea shore;|
The shells that she sells are sea shells I’m sure.
So if she sells sea shells on the sea shore,
I’m sure that the shells are sea shore shells.
|Si||The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.|
|Sl||Slick slim slippers sliding south.|
|Sm||Of all the smells I ever smelt,|
If I never smelt a smell that smelt
Like that smell I smelt smelled.
|Sn||How many snacks could a snack stacker stack,|
If a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?
|Sq||How much squash could a sasquatch squish,|
If a sasquatch could squish squash?
|St||A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,|
But the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
|Sw||Swan swam over the sea.|
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swam back again.
Well swum swan!
|T||A tree toad loved a she-toad|
That lived up in a tree.
She was a three-toed tree toad,
But a two-toed toad was he.
The two-toed toad tried to win
The she-toad’s friendly nod,
For the two-toed toad loved the ground
On which the three-toed tree toad trod.
But no matter how the two-toed tree toad tried,
He could not please her whim.
In her three-toed bower, with her three-toed power,
The three-toed she-toad vetoed him.
|Th||Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the successful thistle-sifter,|
while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.
Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the successful thistle-sifter,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb,
see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles,
thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
|Tw||Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.|
|U||Unique New York.|
Unique New York.
Unique New York.
Unique New York.
Unique New York.
|V||Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.|
|W||How much wood would a woodchuck chuck|
If a woodchuck would chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck how much a woodchuck would chuck
If a woodchuck would chuck wood.
|X||Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.|
|Y||Young yellow yaks yelled uselessly at Yucatan younglings yapping yarns yesterday.|
|Z||Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.|
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy was he?
Radio Announcer Tests
1920s Radio Announcer Test
Penelope Cholmondely raised her azure eyes from the crabbed scenario. She meandered among the congeries of her memoirs. There was the Kinetic Algernon, a choleric artificer of icons and triptychs, who wanted to write a trilogy. For years she had stifled her risibilities with dour moods. His asthma caused him to sough like the zephyrs among the tamaracks.
1935 WMCA Albert L. Alexander’s Test
Gilhooley’s Department Store and General Emporium announces a special sale of kitchen accessories. Think seriously before buying a kitchen sink. The “Thistle” Sink is the sink to make you think; the “Thistle” Sink is the sanitary sink. This sink slowly sinks into your subconscious. Sink satisfaction is simply a state of sincere appreciation of the satisfaction secured with the use of the “Thistle” Sink. The soft, satiny surface of this serviceable sink sends swift shudders of sheer sublimity scintillating up your spine. This is the sweetest sample of sink-craft since 1776, when dishwashing was accomplished with the aid of a thin brush of soft sea thistles.
And don’t forget the special sale of “Sea Shell” stylish, soft sheer sleek silk stockings for 67 cents the set. Also, remember the great bargain in Bloomers Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers, blissfully bouncy, bought abroad by our biggest Lithuanian buyer.
1940s Radio Central New York
One hen, Two ducks
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese, Four Limerick oysters
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese, Four Limerick oysters, Five corpulent porpoises
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese, Four Limerick oysters, Five corpulent porpoises, Six pair of Don Alverzo’s tweezers
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese, Four Limerick oysters, Five corpulent porpoises, Six pair of Don Alverzo’s tweezers, Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese, Four Limerick oysters, Five corpulent porpoises, Six pair of Don Alverzo’s tweezers, Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array, Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese, Four Limerick oysters, Five corpulent porpoises, Six pair of Don Alverzo’s tweezers, Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array, Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt, Nine apathetic, sympathetic, diabetic old men on roller skates, with a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth
One hen, Two ducks, Three squawking geese, Four Limerick oysters, Five corpulent porpoises, Six pair of Don Alverzo’s tweezers, Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array, Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt, Nine apathetic, sympathetic, diabetic old men on roller skates, with a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth, Ten lyrical, spherical, diabolical denizens of the deep who all stall around the corner of the quo of the quay of the quivery, all at the very same time.
1950s WMFT Chicago
The WFMT announcer’s lot is not a happy one. In addition to uttering the sibilant, mellifluous cadences of such cacophonous sounds as Hans Schmidt-Isserstedt, Carl Schuricht, Nicanor Zabaleta, Hans Knappertsbusch and the Hammerklavier Sonata, he must thread his vocal way through the complications of L’Orchestre de la Suisse Romande, the Concertgebouw Orchestra of Amsterdam, the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra and other complicated nomenclature.
However, it must by no means be assumed that the ability to pronounce L’Orchestre de la Societé des Concerts du Conservatoire de Paris with fluidity and verve outweighs an ease, naturalness and friendliness of delivery when at the omnipresent microphone. For example, when delivering a diatribe concerning Claudia Muzio, Beniamino Gigli, Hetty Plumacher, Giacinto Prandelli, Hilde Rössel-Majdan and Lina Pagliughi, five out of six is good enough if the sixth one is mispronounced plausibly. Jessica Dragonette and Margaret Truman are taken for granted.
Poets, although not such a constant annoyance as polysyllabically named singers, creep in now and then. Of course Dylan Thomas and W.B. Yeats are no great worry. Composers occur almost incessantly, and they range all the way from Albeniz, Alfven and Auric through Wolf-Ferrari and Zeisl.
Let us reiterate that a warm, simple tone of voice is desirable, even when introducing the Bach Cantata “Ich hatte viel Bekümmernis,” or Monteverdi’s opera “L’Incoronazione di Poppea.”
Such then, is the warp and woof of an announcer’s existence “in diesen heil’gen Hallen.”